Post by Lizzi on Jul 24, 2005 21:13:09 GMT -5
“And we’re back on American Idol. Here’s Jasmine Cumshaw with the last song of the night, Daughters.” Ryan Seacrest said, sitting down on one of the stools on the main stage.
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls are continually changed
And I’ve done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin?
It’s the same she’s been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she’s left
Cleaning up the mess he made
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You’ll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman’s good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too...
“Yo, girl, that was the best performance tonight,” Randy said with a glance at Lizzi. “Great job!”
“Jasmine, I agree with Randy. You’re brilliant!” Paula praised.
It was Lizzi’s turn to comment. When she spoke, her voice was full of emotion. The words and Jasmine’s singing had gotten to her.
“Jasmine...being honest, I don’t know what to say. That was amazing. In the words of Paula Abdul; ‘You’re going to have this career for a long, long time.’”
The crowd cheered.
“It was like sitting though one of Lizzi’s school talents shows. It was terrible. ” Simon said.
The crowd booed.
“Very good comments from the judges tonight, except Simon. Boo! House is coming up next...Seacrest Out!” Ryan said.
Once the camera’s stopped rolling, Lizzi turned around in her chair. She started crying. Because she was next to Simon, he asked what was wrong.
“Lizzi, what’s wrong?” Simon asked.
“Get away from me, Simon!”
“Not until you tell me why you got so mad at me tonight.”
“NO!”
“Why not?” Asked Simon.
“I’d rather talk to someone I’m closer to,” Lizzi said. “I gotta go. Bye Paula. Bye Randy.” She left.
“Paula,” Simon said once Lizzi had left. “Do you have any idea why Lizzi got so upset with me tonight? That’s the first time she’s yelled at me before...what’s wrong with her?”
“I don’t know...but I’m going to find out.”
-
A few hours later Paula went to Lizzi’s dressing room to talk to her. She was worried. As she walked to the young girls’ dressing room, she thought about what may be bothering her.
‘Could it be something Simon said? She got mad at him in the second part of the show...’ She had arrived at the door of the dressing room. She knocked.
Flashback
Lizzi got on the stage to sing. She hoped her fellow judges would like it.
“This beat is..
Automatic, supersonic, hypnotic, funky fresh
Work my body so melodic
This beat flows right through my chest
Everybody ma and poppy came to party
Grab somebody
Work your body, work your body
Let me see you 1,2 step
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you
1,2 step
I love it when you
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on
This beat is..
Outrageous
So contagious
Make you crave it
(Jazzie made it)
So retarded
Top charted
Ever since the day I started
Strut my stuff
And yes I flaunt it
Goodies make the boys jump on it
No I can't control myself
Now let me do my 1,2 step
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you
1,2 step
I love it when you
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on
We goin' to step it like this
oooohhhweee
It don't matter to me
We can dance slow
Whichever way the beats drop
Our bodies will go
So swing it over here, Mr. DJ
And we will.. we will rock you up (oohh)
It don't matter to me
We can dance slow (dance slow.. yeahh)
Whichever way the beats drop
Our bodies will go
So swing over here, Mr. DJ
And we will, we will rock you
[Missy]
I shake it like jello
And make the boys say hello
Cause they know im rockin' the beat
I know you heard about a lot of great MC's
But they aint got nothing on me
Because im 5 foot 2
I wanna dance with you
And I’m sophisticated fun
I eat filet mignon
And I’m nice and young
Best believe im number one
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you
1,2 step
I love it when you
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you
1,2 step
I love it when you
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on”
-
“Four words: It Was the Bomb.” Randy said.
“This is why Simon, Randy, and I love you. This is why you are a judge. You know who you truly are and I pay tribute to you for a blow-me-away performance. Tonight is your night, honey!” Paula said, clapping and nodding her head.
“I’m going to use a Lizzi-ism—” Simon started.
“Oh no. Not one of my own Lizzi-ism’s!” Lizzi said from the stage.
“Oh yes. You once said in the auditions in the last city we were in, ‘I hope you understand that we will not love every performance we hear. Because, in realty, everyone has a gift. And the gift of singing is what people need to make it in this competition. I didn’t love that performance, but I believe you have what it takes to make it to stardom. I really do.’”
“I remember saying that. But what is the point?”
“The point is, I didn’t like it—”
“JUST SAVE IT! HERE I AM, TRYING TO MAKE IT TO MY DREAM AND YOU ARE JUST SITTING THERE SAYING YOU DIDN’T LIKE IT! WELL, GUESS WHAT? NICE JUST WENT NASTY!” Lizzi jumped down off the stage and smacked Simon hard on the arm.
The audience cheered. God, this show was great!
“Lizzi, don’t—” Paula said, holding Lizzi back from Simon so he could not reach her.
“Are you mad at me, Elizabeth? Or are you just trying to play with the Big Boys?” Simon sneered.
“I HATE YOU!” Lizzi yelled.
“Okay...Hopefully Lizzi will be calmed down after the break...” Ryan said.
Nigel got the okay to cut to a break, as Ryan liked to call it.
“Lizzi, are you going to be okay to finish the show?” Randy asked.
“Yeah, I think so...”
End of Flashback
“Who is it?” Said Lizzi’s voice. It sounded shaky.
“It’s me, Paula. May I come in?”
“Yes. Come in.”
When she opened the door, Paula saw that Lizzi was in a corner of the room, sobbing.
‘That explains why her voice sounds so unsteady.’ Paula thought. As she got closer, she saw that the girl looked as if she was crying for hours.
“Lizzi, what’s wrong?” Paula asked, bending down to where Lizzi was.
“If I said nothing, I’d be lying...Simon upset me so much tonight...”
Lizzi felt her eyes fill with tears. She let herself fall into Paula’s open arms.
“Simon upset me so much tonight...but don’t leave me, Paula, please don’t leave me...” Sobbed Lizzi on Paula’s shoulder.
“I know, sweetheart, I know. Don’t worry. If you don’t want me to leave, I won’t. I promise.”
Lizzi nodded.
“Tell you what. You can spend tonight at my house. We’ll talk about this more when we get there.”
“Thank you.” Lizzi said quietly.
“You’re welcome.” Paula said, hugging Lizzi.
--
Simon was talking to Randy.
“Why did Lizzi get so mad at me tonight, Randy? I didn’t do anything, at least I don’t think.” Simon said.
“The girl has a lot of stuff on her mind. The last I heard, she’s talking to Paula.”
“And what does Paula have to do with this?” Simon asked.
“1) Lizzi watched the show before she became a judge so she knows how mean you can get and 2) Paula plays a motherly role when Lizzi’s doing this with us. She looks up to her, dude.”
“But I didn’t intend to hurt her feelings.”
“But she thinks you did, Simon.”
“Oh, God,” Simon moaned. “Why does it always have to be me?”
“You’re the mean judge. You broke Lizzi’s heart tonight.”
“I know that. Stop trying to make me feel bad.”
“I’m sorry.” Randy said.
“I’m beginning to feel guilty.”
“Go apologize to her, man. Lizzi is in a world of hurt. You, Paula, Ryan, Nigel, Carrie Ann, and I are the small family she has right now. She needs comforting from all of us.” Randy said.
“I do care about her. I really do.”
“I know.”
“For once, Jackson, you are right. I’ll give her some time to talk to Paula and then I’ll say I’m sorry. It can’t be that bad, can it?”
“Yeah, you go, Simon.” Randy said, patting Simon on the shoulder.
--
Paula and Lizzi had got to Paula’s house. Paula’s cell phone started ringing.
“Hello?”
“Paula? It’s Mary Hart.”
“Oh, hi! How are you?”
“Good. ET wants you and Lizzi to come on the show to talk about why Lizzi got so upset with Simon.”
“Okay, I’ll tell her later.”
“Bye, Paula. I’ll call you later.” Mary said, and hung up.
“Let’s face it...I’m not wanted in the entertainment world...” Paula heard Lizzi whisper.
“What do you mean, Lizzi?” Paula asked.
“Oh, come on! No one believes in my singing. And I’m not that good of a dancer. I’m hopeless!”
“You know, I really meant what I said tonight,” Paula said, walking over to Lizzi and putting her arm around her. “Randy, Simon, and I love you so much.”
“If Simon loves me so much, then why did he get so mad at me?”
“I’m going to take care of that,” Paula said. “But even though Simon can be mean, Randy and I are always here to make you feel better.”
“But I’m still upset for some reason...” Lizzi whispered.
“Lizzi, I hope you know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Yes, I know that, Paula.”
“Is there anything you would like to tell me?” Paula asked.
“Yes, actually, there is. The other day, one of the contestants—he...h-he—” Lizzi stopped in mid-sentence.
“One of the male contestants what?” Paula encouraged.
“He...called me a bitch and a slut and said I was worthless... then he punched me in both of my breasts...” Lizzi felt her eyes fill with tears again.
“Oh...come here, sweetheart...” Paula said gently, letting Lizzi fall into her arms again to cry.
“God, Paula, I don’t think I can hold on to my sadness and anger much longer...”
“If you can’t, don’t, sweetie. Let it all go.”
“We may be doing this each night for awhile, then...”
“Then we will until all your sadness and anger is gone. Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Paula asked.
“Oh my God--” Lizzi breathed.
“What is it, honey? What’s wrong?” Paula asked, alarmed.
“I just felt a very, very bad pain in my stomach...”
“Do you need some medicine?”
“No, but thanks anyway.”
“That’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt...”
“It’s going to be okay, honey. Try to get some sleep, okay?”
“Alright, if you insist.” Lizzi said.
“Good girl. I love you,” Paula whispered, hugging Lizzi gently.
“Ditto.”
--
Lizzi woke up, drenched in sweat. It was dark outside, so it had to be around midnight. Paula must have moved her in the guestroom, because she was on a bed, and Paula was on the floor next to her.
“Paula,” Lizzi said quietly. “Are you awake?”
Paula awoke instantly. “Yes, Lizzi? How are you feeling?”
“Even worse than before—Oh my God, I think I’m gonna be sick...” Lizzi quickly grabbed her blanket and threw up in that. Before she threw up a second time, she said, “Paula, get some towels and a damp washcloth please!”
Paula jumped up and ran to the bathroom. She could hear Lizzi throwing up some more. She got the towels and washcloth for Lizzi and ran back to her.
“How many times have you thrown up, sweetheart?” Paula asked once Lizzi said she thought she was done.
“I don’t know...I’m drenched in sweat, though...”
“Close your eyes, Lizzi. I’m going to turn the light on.” Paula said.
“Okay, I’ve closed them.”
“Lizzi, please stand up.”
Then, Lizzi saw the spot she hated to see. The red spot on the sheet she was sitting on. The blood spot.
“Paula, don’t be surprised if I act like a major bitch these next 7 days...” Lizzi said.
-
The next morning, Lizzi awoke early. She felt much better from last night, so she decided to try out the choreography she thought up. The song she danced to was Case of the Ex by Mya.
One she was done, she heard clapping behind her. She whipped around, to find Paula standing in the doorway, smiling.
“How long have you been standing there?” Lizzi demanded.
“Since the beginning of the song,” Paula replied.
“So, wha’cha think?” Lizzi asked.
“I loved it. It was flawless!” Paula exclaimed.
“Oh, come on, I’m not that good!” Lizzi said happily.
“Yes you are, Lizzi.” Lizzi turned around again and saw Simon in the doorway.
“What in the world are you doing here?” Lizzi spat.
“I came to say I apologize, sweetheart.” Simon said.
“Get the FUCK out, Simon!”
Simon stood there, shocked. He never heard Lizzi say something like that. Paula had her mouth hanging open. She, too, had never heard such rage coming out of such a sweet little girl.
“Lizzi, sweetie, I think we need to talk,” Paula said. “Simon, I’m sorry, but can you let yourself out? I have the feeling Lizzi’s not ready to talk to you yet.” She took Lizzi’s hand and led her out of the door and into the kitchen.
“Honey, what just happened? Are you feeling alright?” Paula asked, holding both of Lizzi’s hands in hers.
Lizzi burst into tears.
“I don’t know what just happened, and no, I’m not alright.”
“Are you sick again?”
“No...It’s mentally. I’m not alright mentally, Paula...why do these things always happen to me!?” Lizzi fell to her knees, sobbing.
“Lizzi...honey..., you need to calm down...”
“Easy for you to say…people love you. No one loves me.” Lizzi cried.
“Get a grip! I know one person who loves you.”
“Who is it?”
“Me. I love you more than anything, sweetheart…” Paula was holding Lizzi as she said this.
Lizzi’s cell phone started ringing. Paula was still holding her.
“Hello?”
“Yo, Lizzi.”
“Sup, Randy?” Lizzi asked.
“Let me guess, your over at Paula’s, am I right?”
“Yeah.”
“Lizzi, are you okay? You didn’t act like yourself today.” Randy said, concerned.
“Uh huh...” Lizzi’s eyes sprang with tears, knowing that was a lie.
“You’re lying.”
“I gotta go. Bye-bye!” Lizzi said quickly and hung up.
“What was that about?” Paula asked.
“I don’t know. He seemed quite concerned for me, though...”
“You’re like a daughter to Randy and me, Lizzi. We can’t help it if we want to protect you. I…I consider you as my daughter.” Paula had tears in her eyes as she said this.
“Ah, great, now we’re BOTH crying tears of happiness because we have each other. What’s next?”
“STARBUCKS!” Paula shouted, making Lizzi collapse in laughter.
“God, women, you and your Starbucks…it’s like when I was little and I was in love with Brittany Spears…” Lizzi said though her laughs.
-
NOT DONE! Whatcha think??
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls are continually changed
And I’ve done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin?
It’s the same she’s been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she’s left
Cleaning up the mess he made
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You’ll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman’s good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too...
“Yo, girl, that was the best performance tonight,” Randy said with a glance at Lizzi. “Great job!”
“Jasmine, I agree with Randy. You’re brilliant!” Paula praised.
It was Lizzi’s turn to comment. When she spoke, her voice was full of emotion. The words and Jasmine’s singing had gotten to her.
“Jasmine...being honest, I don’t know what to say. That was amazing. In the words of Paula Abdul; ‘You’re going to have this career for a long, long time.’”
The crowd cheered.
“It was like sitting though one of Lizzi’s school talents shows. It was terrible. ” Simon said.
The crowd booed.
“Very good comments from the judges tonight, except Simon. Boo! House is coming up next...Seacrest Out!” Ryan said.
Once the camera’s stopped rolling, Lizzi turned around in her chair. She started crying. Because she was next to Simon, he asked what was wrong.
“Lizzi, what’s wrong?” Simon asked.
“Get away from me, Simon!”
“Not until you tell me why you got so mad at me tonight.”
“NO!”
“Why not?” Asked Simon.
“I’d rather talk to someone I’m closer to,” Lizzi said. “I gotta go. Bye Paula. Bye Randy.” She left.
“Paula,” Simon said once Lizzi had left. “Do you have any idea why Lizzi got so upset with me tonight? That’s the first time she’s yelled at me before...what’s wrong with her?”
“I don’t know...but I’m going to find out.”
-
A few hours later Paula went to Lizzi’s dressing room to talk to her. She was worried. As she walked to the young girls’ dressing room, she thought about what may be bothering her.
‘Could it be something Simon said? She got mad at him in the second part of the show...’ She had arrived at the door of the dressing room. She knocked.
Flashback
Lizzi got on the stage to sing. She hoped her fellow judges would like it.
“This beat is..
Automatic, supersonic, hypnotic, funky fresh
Work my body so melodic
This beat flows right through my chest
Everybody ma and poppy came to party
Grab somebody
Work your body, work your body
Let me see you 1,2 step
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you
1,2 step
I love it when you
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on
This beat is..
Outrageous
So contagious
Make you crave it
(Jazzie made it)
So retarded
Top charted
Ever since the day I started
Strut my stuff
And yes I flaunt it
Goodies make the boys jump on it
No I can't control myself
Now let me do my 1,2 step
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you
1,2 step
I love it when you
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on
We goin' to step it like this
oooohhhweee
It don't matter to me
We can dance slow
Whichever way the beats drop
Our bodies will go
So swing it over here, Mr. DJ
And we will.. we will rock you up (oohh)
It don't matter to me
We can dance slow (dance slow.. yeahh)
Whichever way the beats drop
Our bodies will go
So swing over here, Mr. DJ
And we will, we will rock you
[Missy]
I shake it like jello
And make the boys say hello
Cause they know im rockin' the beat
I know you heard about a lot of great MC's
But they aint got nothing on me
Because im 5 foot 2
I wanna dance with you
And I’m sophisticated fun
I eat filet mignon
And I’m nice and young
Best believe im number one
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you
1,2 step
I love it when you
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on
Rock it
Don't stop it
Everybody get on the floor
Crank the party up
We about to get it on
Let me see you
1,2 step
I love it when you
1, 2 step
Everybody
1,2 step
We about to get it on”
-
“Four words: It Was the Bomb.” Randy said.
“This is why Simon, Randy, and I love you. This is why you are a judge. You know who you truly are and I pay tribute to you for a blow-me-away performance. Tonight is your night, honey!” Paula said, clapping and nodding her head.
“I’m going to use a Lizzi-ism—” Simon started.
“Oh no. Not one of my own Lizzi-ism’s!” Lizzi said from the stage.
“Oh yes. You once said in the auditions in the last city we were in, ‘I hope you understand that we will not love every performance we hear. Because, in realty, everyone has a gift. And the gift of singing is what people need to make it in this competition. I didn’t love that performance, but I believe you have what it takes to make it to stardom. I really do.’”
“I remember saying that. But what is the point?”
“The point is, I didn’t like it—”
“JUST SAVE IT! HERE I AM, TRYING TO MAKE IT TO MY DREAM AND YOU ARE JUST SITTING THERE SAYING YOU DIDN’T LIKE IT! WELL, GUESS WHAT? NICE JUST WENT NASTY!” Lizzi jumped down off the stage and smacked Simon hard on the arm.
The audience cheered. God, this show was great!
“Lizzi, don’t—” Paula said, holding Lizzi back from Simon so he could not reach her.
“Are you mad at me, Elizabeth? Or are you just trying to play with the Big Boys?” Simon sneered.
“I HATE YOU!” Lizzi yelled.
“Okay...Hopefully Lizzi will be calmed down after the break...” Ryan said.
Nigel got the okay to cut to a break, as Ryan liked to call it.
“Lizzi, are you going to be okay to finish the show?” Randy asked.
“Yeah, I think so...”
End of Flashback
“Who is it?” Said Lizzi’s voice. It sounded shaky.
“It’s me, Paula. May I come in?”
“Yes. Come in.”
When she opened the door, Paula saw that Lizzi was in a corner of the room, sobbing.
‘That explains why her voice sounds so unsteady.’ Paula thought. As she got closer, she saw that the girl looked as if she was crying for hours.
“Lizzi, what’s wrong?” Paula asked, bending down to where Lizzi was.
“If I said nothing, I’d be lying...Simon upset me so much tonight...”
Lizzi felt her eyes fill with tears. She let herself fall into Paula’s open arms.
“Simon upset me so much tonight...but don’t leave me, Paula, please don’t leave me...” Sobbed Lizzi on Paula’s shoulder.
“I know, sweetheart, I know. Don’t worry. If you don’t want me to leave, I won’t. I promise.”
Lizzi nodded.
“Tell you what. You can spend tonight at my house. We’ll talk about this more when we get there.”
“Thank you.” Lizzi said quietly.
“You’re welcome.” Paula said, hugging Lizzi.
--
Simon was talking to Randy.
“Why did Lizzi get so mad at me tonight, Randy? I didn’t do anything, at least I don’t think.” Simon said.
“The girl has a lot of stuff on her mind. The last I heard, she’s talking to Paula.”
“And what does Paula have to do with this?” Simon asked.
“1) Lizzi watched the show before she became a judge so she knows how mean you can get and 2) Paula plays a motherly role when Lizzi’s doing this with us. She looks up to her, dude.”
“But I didn’t intend to hurt her feelings.”
“But she thinks you did, Simon.”
“Oh, God,” Simon moaned. “Why does it always have to be me?”
“You’re the mean judge. You broke Lizzi’s heart tonight.”
“I know that. Stop trying to make me feel bad.”
“I’m sorry.” Randy said.
“I’m beginning to feel guilty.”
“Go apologize to her, man. Lizzi is in a world of hurt. You, Paula, Ryan, Nigel, Carrie Ann, and I are the small family she has right now. She needs comforting from all of us.” Randy said.
“I do care about her. I really do.”
“I know.”
“For once, Jackson, you are right. I’ll give her some time to talk to Paula and then I’ll say I’m sorry. It can’t be that bad, can it?”
“Yeah, you go, Simon.” Randy said, patting Simon on the shoulder.
--
Paula and Lizzi had got to Paula’s house. Paula’s cell phone started ringing.
“Hello?”
“Paula? It’s Mary Hart.”
“Oh, hi! How are you?”
“Good. ET wants you and Lizzi to come on the show to talk about why Lizzi got so upset with Simon.”
“Okay, I’ll tell her later.”
“Bye, Paula. I’ll call you later.” Mary said, and hung up.
“Let’s face it...I’m not wanted in the entertainment world...” Paula heard Lizzi whisper.
“What do you mean, Lizzi?” Paula asked.
“Oh, come on! No one believes in my singing. And I’m not that good of a dancer. I’m hopeless!”
“You know, I really meant what I said tonight,” Paula said, walking over to Lizzi and putting her arm around her. “Randy, Simon, and I love you so much.”
“If Simon loves me so much, then why did he get so mad at me?”
“I’m going to take care of that,” Paula said. “But even though Simon can be mean, Randy and I are always here to make you feel better.”
“But I’m still upset for some reason...” Lizzi whispered.
“Lizzi, I hope you know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Yes, I know that, Paula.”
“Is there anything you would like to tell me?” Paula asked.
“Yes, actually, there is. The other day, one of the contestants—he...h-he—” Lizzi stopped in mid-sentence.
“One of the male contestants what?” Paula encouraged.
“He...called me a bitch and a slut and said I was worthless... then he punched me in both of my breasts...” Lizzi felt her eyes fill with tears again.
“Oh...come here, sweetheart...” Paula said gently, letting Lizzi fall into her arms again to cry.
“God, Paula, I don’t think I can hold on to my sadness and anger much longer...”
“If you can’t, don’t, sweetie. Let it all go.”
“We may be doing this each night for awhile, then...”
“Then we will until all your sadness and anger is gone. Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Paula asked.
“Oh my God--” Lizzi breathed.
“What is it, honey? What’s wrong?” Paula asked, alarmed.
“I just felt a very, very bad pain in my stomach...”
“Do you need some medicine?”
“No, but thanks anyway.”
“That’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt...”
“It’s going to be okay, honey. Try to get some sleep, okay?”
“Alright, if you insist.” Lizzi said.
“Good girl. I love you,” Paula whispered, hugging Lizzi gently.
“Ditto.”
--
Lizzi woke up, drenched in sweat. It was dark outside, so it had to be around midnight. Paula must have moved her in the guestroom, because she was on a bed, and Paula was on the floor next to her.
“Paula,” Lizzi said quietly. “Are you awake?”
Paula awoke instantly. “Yes, Lizzi? How are you feeling?”
“Even worse than before—Oh my God, I think I’m gonna be sick...” Lizzi quickly grabbed her blanket and threw up in that. Before she threw up a second time, she said, “Paula, get some towels and a damp washcloth please!”
Paula jumped up and ran to the bathroom. She could hear Lizzi throwing up some more. She got the towels and washcloth for Lizzi and ran back to her.
“How many times have you thrown up, sweetheart?” Paula asked once Lizzi said she thought she was done.
“I don’t know...I’m drenched in sweat, though...”
“Close your eyes, Lizzi. I’m going to turn the light on.” Paula said.
“Okay, I’ve closed them.”
“Lizzi, please stand up.”
Then, Lizzi saw the spot she hated to see. The red spot on the sheet she was sitting on. The blood spot.
“Paula, don’t be surprised if I act like a major bitch these next 7 days...” Lizzi said.
-
The next morning, Lizzi awoke early. She felt much better from last night, so she decided to try out the choreography she thought up. The song she danced to was Case of the Ex by Mya.
One she was done, she heard clapping behind her. She whipped around, to find Paula standing in the doorway, smiling.
“How long have you been standing there?” Lizzi demanded.
“Since the beginning of the song,” Paula replied.
“So, wha’cha think?” Lizzi asked.
“I loved it. It was flawless!” Paula exclaimed.
“Oh, come on, I’m not that good!” Lizzi said happily.
“Yes you are, Lizzi.” Lizzi turned around again and saw Simon in the doorway.
“What in the world are you doing here?” Lizzi spat.
“I came to say I apologize, sweetheart.” Simon said.
“Get the FUCK out, Simon!”
Simon stood there, shocked. He never heard Lizzi say something like that. Paula had her mouth hanging open. She, too, had never heard such rage coming out of such a sweet little girl.
“Lizzi, sweetie, I think we need to talk,” Paula said. “Simon, I’m sorry, but can you let yourself out? I have the feeling Lizzi’s not ready to talk to you yet.” She took Lizzi’s hand and led her out of the door and into the kitchen.
“Honey, what just happened? Are you feeling alright?” Paula asked, holding both of Lizzi’s hands in hers.
Lizzi burst into tears.
“I don’t know what just happened, and no, I’m not alright.”
“Are you sick again?”
“No...It’s mentally. I’m not alright mentally, Paula...why do these things always happen to me!?” Lizzi fell to her knees, sobbing.
“Lizzi...honey..., you need to calm down...”
“Easy for you to say…people love you. No one loves me.” Lizzi cried.
“Get a grip! I know one person who loves you.”
“Who is it?”
“Me. I love you more than anything, sweetheart…” Paula was holding Lizzi as she said this.
Lizzi’s cell phone started ringing. Paula was still holding her.
“Hello?”
“Yo, Lizzi.”
“Sup, Randy?” Lizzi asked.
“Let me guess, your over at Paula’s, am I right?”
“Yeah.”
“Lizzi, are you okay? You didn’t act like yourself today.” Randy said, concerned.
“Uh huh...” Lizzi’s eyes sprang with tears, knowing that was a lie.
“You’re lying.”
“I gotta go. Bye-bye!” Lizzi said quickly and hung up.
“What was that about?” Paula asked.
“I don’t know. He seemed quite concerned for me, though...”
“You’re like a daughter to Randy and me, Lizzi. We can’t help it if we want to protect you. I…I consider you as my daughter.” Paula had tears in her eyes as she said this.
“Ah, great, now we’re BOTH crying tears of happiness because we have each other. What’s next?”
“STARBUCKS!” Paula shouted, making Lizzi collapse in laughter.
“God, women, you and your Starbucks…it’s like when I was little and I was in love with Brittany Spears…” Lizzi said though her laughs.
-
NOT DONE! Whatcha think??
